Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Updates, Part 1

I wrote this last Tuesday but didn't get to finish, so here's installment 1 of some updates:

There are so many things to write about that I've been having option paralysis. Oh, and I suppose the fact that I'm really bad at taking care of Gavin and our household while still working 20 hours a week probably plays a role, too. Speaking of which, I should start my list of updates:

  • Retiring! My last day of working is Friday (okay, so that was 2 days ago now, but like I said, I wrote this on Tuesday). It's a little bittersweet to me. I know for sure I can't keep up the current schedule of things around here, and being a mother is absolutely, hands-down, the more important thing to focus on and pour my energy into. In no way do I regret my decision or think I should do something different. But it is still a little sad. I really enjoy most of the people I've worked with, and I love the problem-solving part of my job. Probably the hardest thing is this: I am quitting something I am measurably good at, where tasks can be completely completed within a reasonable time period and the amount of work I have to do is usually comparable to the amount of time I have to do it in, where someone affirms when I've done a good job and values my input, where I can use my problem-solving skills in a math-y and science-y way to come to conclusions based on reason. And I am quitting that in order to do something full-time (not just 40 hours a week, but 24x7) that I am not good at and have no expertise in (or really any idea whatsoever of what I'm doing), there are always many more things to do than I can get done, and although my problem-solving skills will most certainly be used, it will not necessarily be in the most satisfying ways. So, I suppose it's a great time for some spiritual growth and really figuring out that my self-worth is not tied to how I perform but is found in who I am in Christ and who I am becoming, only through the grace and transforming character of Jesus.

1 comment:

AmyRobynne said...

Ooo, I certainly understand your thoughts on working. Something I've realized is that it doesn't have to be all or nothing for the next 20 years. Right now, staying home full time works best for you, but maybe next year a short-term project could present itself and you'll be in a state where that works for your family. Or maybe not.

I'm just now feeling like I'm getting in the swing of the household management thing, after 7 years of marriage and 4 years of children, and I have a long way to go.